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Drunk Live Blogging The Bachelor : On The Wings Of Love January 18, 2010

January 18, 2010

Okay – not really drunk but sort of tipsy.  I was trying to think of a good drinking game to go with The Bachelor.  Maybe take a drink every time a bachelorette says that she’s on the show for “the right reason” and the other girls are in it for the “wrong reason” or “the other girls don’t really care about him” or “I’m really starting to have feelings for him” or “I think I’m falling in love with him”.

Okay – here we go.  Rehash Rozlyn.  Teasers.

Vienna gets the one-on-one date.  Michelle let’s know that she thinks she is very attractive and thinks she should be on a one-on-one.  And Ali is jealous.

Jake calls Vienna “intense”.  Hmmm.  Very very white teeth.  Helicopter date.  I would be terrified.

The girls are back at the whorehouse hating on Vienna.

And they are going bungie jumping – I would SO not do that.  For anyone.  Hmmm.  Jake is scared of heights.  So neither of them want to do this and so why?  Idiots.

Jake has panic attack.  Wow!  Fun date!  Stroke symptoms…bwahahaha!  Thank goodness there was no poo.

They jump, scream and then…kiss.  How romantic?

Jake’s balding head shows through…

Now the romantic evening.  Aww.  He wants a nurturing wife.  I hate her top.  Looks like an off the shoulder afghan.  More kissy face – those are really big glasses.  Ack – take a drink.  She’s there for “the right reason”.  Cheese.  No words.

Back at the house…ding dong.  Group date announced.  Poor Michelle – stuck on a group  date again.  Oooooh.  The girls don’t like Vienna…

Back with the date, hot tub looks lovely and he is giving Vienna a rose.

The best day of her life is when she marries Jake.

Ashleigh is baffled that Vienna is still around – what is it that we are not seeing that the girls are seeing behind the scenes?

Group date day.  Jon Lovitz Comedy Club…?  Weewy?

Actually that would be fun…but being part of the show?  Awkward.

Back at the house, we find out that Ella gets a chance to go home after a one-on-one.

Ashleigh – crying is a good way to get attention.  But makes her nose bright red.  This is a stupid date.  I’d cry too.  God!  Elizabeth is SO orange!!  She not so fresh looking.  Just saying.

Elizabeth – potty mouth, yeah she’s not so pure or chaste as she is playing.  Michelle brings the freaking crazy…just a little “off”.   OMG – Corrie brings the “truth” about Vienna.  And makes Jake think twice about Vienna.

Drink – Tenley feels something for him.  Tenley tells Jake that she was married before.  And gets good kisses and we find out that Jake smells good.

Ashleigh gets some on-on-one time – and dishes about Vienna.

Back at the house – people attacking Vienna.  Drink – Vienna “cares” for Jake.

Drink…Jake is starting to “have feelings” for them.

Annnd a bit more of the crazy Michelle before commercial break.

Drink – Michelle came here for Jake, to find love and get married…because it’s her destiny of something.  Michelle kisses a reluctant, freaked out Jake.  And then announces that she can’t stay…?  Baroo?  Jake agrees that she should leave!!  Certain people thought she was The Girl?  Why did they have a waiting limo?

Jake has decided not to give out a rose…he’s totally bummed.  Gosh.  Maybe this is not the best and most romantic way to find your wife?

Ella’s date – I am totally bored before the fact.  Ella sort of has a strange nose.  Mean I know.  Another helicopter trip.  Ella was surprised?  Really?  Like helicopter rides are so unusual in this franchise.

Meanwhile Vienna tries to make things right – so not going to work.

Ella gets to go to Sea World…um.  Dolphins and whales…sigh.  Kack.  And of course…little Ethan shows up.  Like I didn’t know that was going to happen.  Sea World?  Penguins.  The birth control date.  This is like an advertisement for Sea World – the ultimate product placement.  Oh no – she has a huge zit.  Or a mosquito bite.  She has very pretty eyes though…hmmm.  And I do like her fashion sense…but wasn’t she wearing jeans earlier in the date?  Oh yeah – the jeans are back on.  So – will he go for the mature woman or the pretty young little girls?  Well at least he gives her the rose.

Cocktail party time.  Jake is on to Elizabeth’s game.  And Elizabeth sees her plan backfiring in slo mo.  backtrack much?

Rose ceremony time…I would send Elizabeth home.  Not sure who else.  Gia’s lips are so huge…but she gets the first rose.  Then Corrie, Tenley (again?), Ali, Jessie (we don’t see much of her), Kathryn, and…Ashleigh!

Poor Elizabeth.  I don’t even recognize the other chic…Valishia.  Oh yeah, her.  Elizabeth’s plan didn’t work so I respect Jake a little more for seeing through her.

Next week on The Bachelor.  Road Trip.

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